hey all,

ok, so time for the weekly blog. this week has been a little crazy and unfortunately has ended on a sour note for me personally. i am feeling quite frustrated as things i do tend not to flop. but then again, you can only succeed as far as your support will carry you. guess i didnt have much support....which is quite a shocker for me.

i am shocked at how many people are shocked when i have a bad day! i didnt realize that i was so upbeat that when i have a bad day, people kind of freak out. its kind of funny...but still stinks at the same time.

relax people, betsy can have a bad day too!

i am very much looking forward to my venture down south. some good time in philly, with family and with some free-wheeling hippies is just what i need. probably more than i should admit. and i am of course looking forward to meeting jonny and sloan ... well, not sure sloan is coming out ... but i know jonny is! i am also looking so forward to seeing rick. i havent seen him since i was preg for noah. although we talk often and text even more often ... a part of my heart is sad cuz i havent seen him in 10 years. that DOES mean my tattoo will be nearly finished in seeing him. he still has to sign my arm. im not looking forward to all the driving...but cannot wait for 10 days of oh yeah :)

anyways, my dreads are almost 4 months old. minus the roots and the very backs, im so beyond thrilled with them! i am still amazed at the looks i get from people. it makes me giggle hearing the comments.

last night at the lost horizon, a guy came in with some insane dreads. i dont know this guy and i didnt have a chance to talk to him. i sat at the bar, drinking my water, and heather (bartender...she's pretty amazing!) came over and asked whats up. i told her i was feeling kind of self conscious because that guys dreads were awesome. i told her i LOVE mine but feel a little insecure around others with them. she said to not feel self conscious because mine are awesome. ahhh, i wasn't looking for a compliment but i could tell she genuinely meant it. that made me feel better though.

i dont really struggle with self image issues...my weight, well, thank the wheelchair, stress and the inability to exercize the way i am used to...but i will reconquer it all as soon as i am fully healed. i do go walking and bought a yoga video for when i am released medically. to be honest, i am itching to work out.

well, anyways, if you love good music, the band that played for me last night was great. www.whatitis.biz they are called iS and they recently opened for keller williams. thanks to the first band for NOT showing up until it was almost over (and it was the band i was the most excited to see out of every band ive booked! sigh) and the sweet 16, the crowd was way too small. and the owner of the club pulled the plug. said i could do shows every 6 weeks...and that is great...but i had to just cancel 4 shows. not cool in my book. but i understand he takes a loss. maybe starting a concert series the week before march madness wasnt brilliant. i am currently trying to save the april 8th show with pia mater and sophistifunk. and rally and people able to come out...well, that would be indeed fantastic!

so im off to go get bongo on his leash and hit the pavement. its a much needed walk.

peace love and dreads,

so much on one day!

so yesterday was the 16th. that marks the 3rd month of me being legitimately CANCER FREE! woohoo! i am trying to not get all carried away. i dont want to psych myself out. yesterday also starts the one month countdown to my trip down south! it's going to be great getting back to shakori hills grassroots fest. there are a few places that fell like home...this is one of them. the love and music that pours out...ah, it does my heart good! i am making a few pitstops on the way to shakori. im bringing noah to his FIRST EVER phillies game at citizen's bank park. oh yeah :) then we are going to have dinner at his paternal grandparents house one night. im meeting up with jonny from dreadheadhq to meet, chat and eat maurice's gourmet bbq (mmmm hash and rice!) and spend time with mom and dad! then taking a 2 day stop in atlanta to spend time with christen, bob and the kids...and a day with rick reese. then off to shakori.

while i am at shakori hills, i will get to spend time with my old friends rusted root. i miss preach, dirk, patrick quite a bit! will be nice to see them. i will also get the chance to spend time with bela fleck. wootwoot! there are other bands that are going to be there that i am excited to see again...donna the buffalo (as always!). note to self...try to get a date from jed for lost jams...i was wanting to set up a dreadheadhq booth but the people putting it on didnt think it was as good of an idea as i did. im hoping jonny can get me tons of those little cards cuz there are about 18,000 people that i will come into contact with!

yesterday ALSO is the day my friend earle came to visit. he pops in and out on a whim. anyways, he has had dreads 11 years. must be nice to be able to have twisties turn into such gorgeous locks! kinda wish i was black for that reason. well, he had this one lock hanging by a hair...literally. it had 1 smaller dreads coming off the piece that was hanging on for dear luck. so we dreaded it into one of my locks. it looks cool and silly all at the same time!

now my back looks terrible in this pic! uggh. i am in serious need of help on my back...earle said he would make some time to come help but he doesnt have a clue what to do. guess some good clockwise rubbing and palm rolling are needed...hey jonny, wanna lend a hand? (that would be pretty rad!)

tonight, the 17th is st patrick's day. so michelle, her kids, noah and i head to quaker steak and lube to hear boots n'shorts play. totally amazing this band is! i just love them! (check em on myspace if you are curious...well worth the listen!) it was like a private celebration for me in relation to yesterday. i was (again) the only one out with dreads. its kinda cool and im getting used to the stares...but a little insane at the same time.

(michelle and me being silly!)

i feel like this has been one big ramble! i am so sorry if you agree...i have so many things bouncing around in my head. well, guess i should finish talking to john, a fellow dreadhead and then head to bed. i am pretty exhausted. i took my grandma to the dr and then to do errands. then out for dinner and music...and sitting here, all the time outside and kind of overdoing it...yep, im EXHAUSTED. more soon!

peace, love and dreads!

what did i learn?


well, as promised, here is my next blog! i want to disclaim this now. the opinions in this blog are MY views....not necessarily those of www.dreadheadhq.com. let me explain. i am a christian and the dreads have helped me draw closer to god. (also, disclaimer, i dont capitalize anything...not out of disrespect. i think my brain goes faster than my fingers...) so in me stating my christian beliefs, they may not necessarily be what jonny and sloan believe. ok, ready to rock and load?

i guess first off i am a christian. i am not religious. i believe in god, jesus and the holy spirit. i believe that the bible is truth and that when i die, i will go to heaven and hear "well done, you good and faithful servant.". these words haunt me daily as i try to be a "jesus in skin" to everyone i meet. my uncle stated that i suffer from g.p.s. no, not global positioning service, good person syndrome. i believe that because jesus did things for people, i should also. fair enough. i have had to learn that it is ok to say "no". that was probably the hardest thing for me!

what do i do while working on my dreads? well, that one is easy. if i am doing it solo (usually the case), i have itunes cracking out all the christian rock i can listen to! chris tomlin, chris rice, audio adrenaline, jj hellar, acappella, robin mark, paul baloche, keith lancaster, barlow girl, ami shroyer...etc. i spend the time singing, praising god, praying and listening. i tend not to answer the phone, watch tv or play on the computer. that behavior, i save for when i have friends helping.

when i am able to take the time to shut out the world and focus on godly things, i have such a sense of peace and love. sometimes, it is so overwhelming that i cannot help but cry and thank him.

when the dr suggested meds to help with cancer, i refused. i KNEW my god would heal me. i attend the most AMAZING church (christ community umc is baldwinsville, ny) and the prayer warriors there are just...well...beyond words! my pastor (bj) has been very instrumental in prayer and support through my rough few years. he even lovingly renamed me "betsy-JOB"...lol. (job...the man in the bible, not what you get dressed for daily.) anyways, its not that im against medicine...i just knew my body has gone through so much i couldnt put it through more.

i believe so much in the power of prayer. i know that prayer is awesome. i love that while working on dreads i can spend the time connecting with the man (or woman) that created me!

if you do not believe, that is your choice. i have been through so much that god is the ONLY explaination possible. do i have all the answers, nope. will i ever, yes...i believe god will reveal things when i get there.

i used to focus on eartly things...having an iphone, laptop, good home, good car, money..etv. can i confess i was MISERABLE! and not just a little...COMPLETELY. since i have shifted my gaze to god, i trust that he will fix things in his time. does what i've been through stink? completely. but i know i am stronger for it and have a better testimony.

anyways, i feel like im chasing bunnies...

during my hour long god sessions, god has revealed that he loves me. over and over again. he loves me. a huge sinner that deserves nothing. but he loves me anyways. he has given me new lyrics to give to gary (my songwritting cohort) to turn into another worship song. (weve already done 2!)

i struggle with being single sometimes. well, i guess considering why i am currently single it has been more difficult. but i know that the only love i need i already have. would i like to find a man to love unconditionally? yeppers! no question there...but am i content in being single until then? yeah i am. there will be hard days but he says in proverbs "guard you heart for it is the wellspring of life". how awesome is that!

not sure what i will blog about next...
see y'all soon!

peace, love, dreads,

here is me before :) many thanks to www.mabyn.com

here is me now! oh and btw...LETS GO ORANGE!!! BIG EAST CHAMPS AGAIN!!! (taken at the sold out SU vs NOVA game :)

hey all :)

let's start at the beginning :)

i am a single mom and have the best kids in the world. well, technically only 1 kid but my heart accepts 1 more :) Noah is 10 and Leslie is almost 20. so anyways, i love them more than i ever though possible. they both make me laugh, cry, scream...being a mom is awesome!

5/12/07 i was deemed permanently disabled due to breaking my spine (3 times). i have had 3 surgeries (L5-S1 twice and C4567 once...that was the worst one!). ny has this law that if you miss 13 weeks of work for ANY reason, your job has the right to fire you. in august 2007 i got my letter firing me and telling me my insurance was going to end. wow, i was so upset! i loved my job! i had some pretty awesome bosses. i worked with mainly women so i learned really quickly to just ignore the drama they caused on a daily. i was financially stable and things were amazing. at this point, i had just started dating a man a few weeks prior and he stood by my 2nd surgery and helped me heal. i will always be greatful to him for that.

8/07 i had to have minor surgery due to cervical cancer. diagnosis came back that the cancer was clear to the borders and things started to get better for me.

10/07 had surgery C4567 and again, thanks to the man i was dating for being there for me and helping me get back on track. (that is about the last time you will hear me thank him.)

11/07 i attempted to rejoin the workforce. i got a job as a front desk person at a dr office. the office would not supply me the ergonomic items i needed to perform my job duties. i went back to the dr and they said, nope. no more work for you.

2/08 while waiting for my fiance (yep, he asked me to marry me him) to get home from work, i decided to take a bath and have dinner all ready so we could just spend time as a family. his favorite meal in the oven, i hopped in the bath. well, i knew i had been in the tub too long because i looked like a prune and had to replenish the hot water twice. i went to get out of the tub and fell. i fell to the point that my son (who was 8) had to call 911. the downstairs neighbor was the first responder. there i was completely naked and not able to get up. i had no feeling in my left leg. (there was previous nerve damage due to my L5-S1 surgeries...this was way worse.) i spent the week at the hospital and then 4 weeks (i think? i have blocked much of this.) at a NURSING HOME. i was 31 years old and called my 80 year old grandma on her birthday. cool right? WRONG. she was at HOME and i was in the NURSING HOME. irony? yep. and i dont like irony.

mid 3/08 i move into my first handicapped apartment with my son and fiance.

5/09 well, i got sick. still have no insurance because medicaid ended due to my income from SSD. once you are classified as permanently disabled, you have to wait TWO years before you can get medicare. i went to the hospital with abdominal pain and they discharged me. i went to see my ob/gyn and after running tests it was decided i needed a partial hystrectomy due to cancer.

5/8/09 this is my personal 9/11. i called my fiance, told him what was going on. he came home, took my car (my son was with my female parental unit) and went out and got completely drunk. we're talking 3 PITCHERS of yuengling. yep, it was bad. he got in my face and became violent with me. i threw him out.

5/9/09 my daughter leslie came over when i called her. i hesitated calling her as she and her husband of 1 year found out they were expecting (the cutest ever!) kain. she had me call the pastor of our church and i proceeded to go to the hospital. pastor linda met me there as did my cousin. now, let me tell you of my cousin. his name is sean. he worked security for the hospital. he blocked ALL visitors and calls except for people from my church. how amazing. he sat with me while i did my intake / triage and until pastor linda came to be with me for support. what i would do without leslie, sean and pastor linda? i have NO idea.

6/09 my finace has been arrested and spent 24 hours in jail. he now realizes we are over.

mid 6/09 i have a sonogram. cancer spread. no more talk of partial...now looking at full hystrectomy. keep in mind...im only 32.

6/23/09 i have surgery, its called a sucess and i instantly start menopause. since the house i was living in wasn't condusive to "no stairs", my dear friend, michelle, let me recover in her home. her kids would even argue over who could refill my water. the love i got from michelle and her family makes me tear up just thinking about.

7/09 staples and all, i attend grassroots festival in trumansburg, ny. i overdid it while hanging out with rusted root...well, mainly preach freedom...not really a good idea to have gone. but the music lifted my spirits as always!

8/09 i move into my new home where my ex cannot find me, i am safe and the home is ALREADY handicap access. and i can have a dog! that is the best news.

columbus day weekend, i head to www.shakorihills.org for another grassroots fest. i came down with swine flu WHILE CAMPING! that stunk. well, i came home and just felt awful. my back was killing me. i went to the hospital and they sent me to the surgeon's office. i went in and was stunned to hear they needed to opperate on the baseball sized tumor in my back. yep, it was CANCER! i healed all up and then 12/17/09 went in for yet again ANOTHER surgery. seriously folks, i need a room in my name or something!

now, i've been debating dreads for several years. when i found out the cancer was back...AGAIN...i figured its now or never. i went to my dear friend michelle and she helped me get dreads.

PLEASE NOTE....when i got them put in, it wasnt with dreadheadhq stuff. when the stuff i was using didnt work so well, i did a google search. guess who popped up everywhere? DREADHEADHQ! so i did further research and was so impressed by how laid back and easy they made it look. ok, so its not easy. its massive amounts of work. but SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO worth it!

12/6/09 my dreads were put in! they are just over 3 months old and look amazing. kudos to the DREADHEADHQ's own Jonny and Sloan for all their help, products. also, thanks to dustin and john for emergency help when i though for sure i failed making the dreads!

i am not telling you this story for pity, money or anyother reason other than PLEASE GET YOUR YEARLY CHECKUPS even if you have to self pay. most dr offices will help with payment plans, bill lower rates or even offer free tests. the american cancer society has been a plethura of knowledge and help.

next post...what i learned about myself while dreading.....pretty cool stuff!

peace, love and dreads,

hey everyone!

it's official :) i am now a sponsored member of DREADHEADHQ!

my first blog will be coming soon :)

peace, love and dreads!

About this blog


About Me

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Hey! Welcome to my BLOG! I am a sponsored dreadhead thanks to DREADHEADHQ! I am here to blog about my journey on being a dreadhead, mother, sister, daughter, nonnie and christian. I hope you enjoy the ride!